


Optimum Position

by SherlockMalfoy



Series: Sherlock!Wizardverse Drabbles - General [21]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Nakedness, have been shagging, intending to shag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-17
Updated: 2012-08-17
Packaged: 2017-11-12 08:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/488778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockMalfoy/pseuds/SherlockMalfoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock's been having John try out new positions all week. John's only just now realized why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Optimum Position

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't really explicit. It's only got the rating it has because of nakedness.

John had only left the bedroom for a minute. He’d stepped out the door, put the skull back on the mantle because it still creeps him out to have sex in a room with that thing looking right at him grinning it’s eternally dead smile at him. Just sixty seconds. When he got back, he was greeted NOT with his husband stretched out across the bed as he had left him, cheeks flushed and panting.  
      No.  
      In that one minute Sherlock had divested the remainder of his clothing and was now on all fours, as if presenting himself for John’s return.  
      ”Sherlock, what are you doing?”  
      Without skipping a beat, Sherlock replied, “I must remain in this position.”  
      John stared at him, crossing the room to the bed with just a little hessitation. All week Sherlock had been behaving oddly. Rather, odder than usual for him. And each time they’d shagged it had been in a different room. Different pieces of furnature. And Sherlock wanted it a different way each time. Not once did they repeat themselves.  
      Until now apparently. “Not that I’m complaining,” John said when he reached the bed, but did not yet climb up onto it. Not yet, anyway. But he was still curious. “But why?”  
      Sherlock looked over his shoulder at his husband and rolled his eyes as if the answer were obvious. “My research has shown that this is the optimum position for maximum comfort while allowing for deeper penetration.” As if to entice John to join him, Sherlock rocked back and forth. John stiffled a giggle. Sherlock just looked quite silly doing that.  
      ”Sherlock,” John said, shaking his head. “Just… just turn around, would you. Can’t we just, you know, be facing each other? I like to see your face when we-“  
      ” **This** ,” Sherlock repeated stubbornly. “Is the optimum position.”  
      ”Yes, you’ve said that already,” John said.  
      Sherlock gave him a glare that caused John’s already wilting erection to finally give up the ghost. “Optimum. Position,” Sherlock insisted in frustration.  
      ”I KNOW,” John snapped back, equally frustrated. Mainly because Sherlock was trying to get a point across without actually TELLING him what point he was trying to make… And then, John finally thought to ask… “Optimum position _for what_?” The second the question fell off his lips, his mind pieced it together for him. Slowly, of course, because when presented with your naked spouse posing on a bed in what he perceives is a very provocative position it usually prevents the logical and rational part of the brain from taking precedence. But it got there all the same. And John smiled.  
      ”Sherlock… Is THAT what you’ve been having me do all week?” The detective didn’t answer. “You know, it’s a bit of a myth, actually. There is no perfect sexual position for conceiving children.”  
      ”John,” he said with almost the same disinterest as he used on Lestrade at a crime scene.  
      ”If there were, I don’t think that what you’re doing would be it. We’re not animals-“  
      Sherlock sighed. “Are you going to shag me or not because my arms are getting tired.”  
      John stiffled another giggle as he shucked off his shorts and climbed up beside him in the bed. Sherlock glared at him as if to say _behind me, idiot_. Quite used to this, even in bed, John just took one of his husband’s tired arms and pulled him off balance and against him.  
      ”For the record John, humans are technically anim-“  
      John kissed him, just to shut him up.


End file.
